Almost too good to be true

Every day of the week without fail I’ll get between 5-10 leaflets, flyers, business cards or glossy advertisements pushed through my door offering everything from home deliverys of Thai food to new windows, cabs to the airport and companies seeking properties to rent. A whole new army of people must be employed to shove leaflets through letter boxes.

One that was on the floor today was advertising a Mr Marouf, International Healer, Medium, Clairvoyant and Spiritualist. The opening line says he’s ‘Born from a strong family with good reputation of family history in helping.’ So far so good, but then he goes on to describe the things he can fix with his mind meld technique.

Here’s a sample of the situations he says he can solve VERY RAPIDLY. Relationships, return of loved ones(does he mean dead ones?), Union/Separation, break of unwanted marriage (you guys need to get divorced), for you to be loved forever (maybe he knows the winning lottery numbers), to be a famous or successful person within days. He’ll make you famous in days, but will it be legal.

It goes on saying how he’ll cure all your sexual, bad luck, business, academic, smoking and drinking problems. The one that got me though was where Mr Marouf, International Healer claims he can solve your immigration problems. Now that would be a clever trick with just a quick turn at the Ouija board.

He seems pretty cocksure of himself and even offers his service in English and French. If you’re around North London and have a problem that no one else can fix you could always try this character, but I’d negotiate the price upfront.